Reflecting on our over 42 years of marriage, it’s hard to believe how far we’ve come in overcoming marital challenges. Our story began on a tumultuous note, marked by an over-the-top passionate first date that quickly spiraled into a cycle of brokenness. For 27 years, we were handcuffed with many challenges that plagued our relationship. Despite our best efforts, we often felt like we were on the brink of divorce. Yet, through almost three decades, one of us held onto hope and never truly wanted to end our marriage.
The Early Years: A Rocky Start
Our relationship began with the intensity of youthful love, but on our wedding night, we both felt we’d made a mistake, yet we never talked about those feelings till decades later. This, among other things, caused a very shaky foundation in our relationship. We faced numerous struggles that seemed too hard to make it through. Miscommunication or NO communication, unmet expectations, and differing values created isolation and a wall between us. We tried various methods to fix our relationship in those early years—counseling, workshops, self-help seminars, and more. Yet, nothing seemed to stick. Each attempt felt like a band-aid over a deep wound. We desperately sought solutions but couldn’t find the key to lasting change in our marriage.
The Turning Point: Embracing Faith-Based Relationship Advice
We had been going to church for many years, trying to find God in church and in men. What we were missing and not knowing was a spiritual foundation. We go through this in detail in our book, but the short story is that through a series of events, my knees were bowed as the Bible tells us in Philippians 2:10, “so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth.” We both totally surrendered our lives to HIM. His presence illuminated our path forward. We just kept following His light. This spiritual awakening became the catalyst for our long-term marriage success story. We realized that true healing and transformation could only come through a deep, personal relationship with God. This revelation changed everything for us and set us on a new path of growth and reconciliation.
Embracing God’s Word: The Key to Our Christian Marriage Transformation
We started reading God’s word and went from a place of brokenness to one of thriving love. This happened quickly, meaning months, not years, yet growing daily. This is a love that now inspires others. Friends and family often express their admiration for our relationship. We find ourselves sometimes in a state of almost disbelief of the Grace and Love the Lord has given us and how far He’s taken us, especially to help others. Love, Joy, patience, kindness, faith, goodness, meekness, and self-control now characterize our marriage. We cherish our time together, whether enjoying a quiet evening or embarking on new adventures. We’ve created a partnership, with the help of the Holy Spirit, built on mutual support and shared dreams. The challenges we face now have become more stepping stones, just part of the journey, leading us to a deeper appreciation for each other.
The Power of Commitment: Spiritual Growth in Marriage
We’re committed to being in God’s word every day, no matter what. We’ve also committed to inviting the Lord into our marriage each day through prayer. The Bible is clear in many places about this; here’s just one in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”We’ve recently added hiking and walking into the mix. We’ve agreed that if we take our phones, we put them on airplane mode. We like taking pictures and using the resources on long hikes, especially when we need help on trails. These resources work in airplane mode. This practice has given us great sabbath time, something we missed for decades, not knowing how to fit it in. These times have been a real marriage builder. These practices have become non-negotiables in our marriage relationship, like stakes in the ground. We review many stakes in more detail in chapter 20 of our book. The stakes seem to grow as we grow. Our new commitment to our relationship and God strengthens our bond and deepens our love for one another.
Final Thoughts: Sharing Our Journey of Overcoming Marital Challenges
When God redeemed us, a redemption we didn’t deserve, it became very clear He wanted to use us with our story to help other marriages. Some are severely broken, while others might think they’re perfect but could still benefit from a little work to truly thrive. We never know where these people will come from, yet we thrive when the Lord uses us for his purposes. This is our hope and prayer for every marriage, and this is our hope and prayer for your marriage. Consider getting a copy of our book, reading it together, and doing the questions after each chapter. It comes in two parts: our broken beginning to becoming radically transformed. We are still a work in progress. For example, hiking wasn’t a thing we did together when the book was launched on January 30 of this year. We are still looking for ways to love and understand each other better. This ongoing growth is strengthening our relationship. Our journey of overcoming marital challenges through faith-based relationship advice has transformed our lives and allowed us to help others. We believe every couple has the potential for a thriving, God-centered marriage. It takes work, commitment, and a willingness to grow individually and together. But with God’s guidance and grace, even the most broken relationships can be healed and transformed. We pray that our story of Christian marriage transformation inspires hope and encourages others to seek God’s wisdom in their relationships. To God be the glory for the work He’s done in our lives and the privilege of sharing our journey with others!