Part 2 – Finding Our Sabbath
Deuteronomy 8:3 states, “And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live on bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”
This verse encapsulates the essence of spiritual growth in relationships, particularly marriage. My personal journey of spiritual growth began when I met Kath, a “church girl” whose family regularly attended church services. At first, my attraction was largely superficial, based on her appearance and the potential for how she might look in the future, judging by her mother. I saw her church background as a potential catalyst for change in my life, a way to rescue me from my childish and sinful ways. Little did I know that this encounter would begin a profound spiritual growth journey in our relationship.
Misconceptions About Faith and Church
In the early stages of our relationship, my understanding of faith and church attendance was immature and misguided. I believed that attending church for an hour each week constituted observing the Sabbath and that this act alone would bring about positive changes in my life. My naive perspective led me to view church attendance as a spiritual transaction – a way to balance out or erase the sins committed during the week.
This misunderstanding extended to the sacrament of communion. I erroneously believed that participating in communion was a means of wiping the slate clean, regardless of my actions or intentions throughout the week. It’s important to note that this understanding was far from the truth of Christian doctrine, but it represented the starting point of my spiritual journey.
The Danger of Unexamined Faith
My immature theology was never questioned or challenged, partly due to my pride and partly due to a lack of proper guidance. I never sought clarification on these matters, and unfortunately, no one took the time to explain the deeper truths of faith in a way that I could understand. This situation highlights the importance of mentorship and education in spiritual growth, especially in relationships.
The Process of Spiritual Growth in Relationships
As my relationship with Kath deepened, so did my understanding of faith and spirituality. Spiritual relationship growth often begins with confronting our misconceptions and being open to learning and change. For me, this process involved several key aspects:
- Recognizing Superficiality: I had to acknowledge that my initial attraction to Kath’s “church girl” status was superficial and based on misconceptions about faith and its role in relationships.
- Challenging Assumptions: As we grew closer, I began questioning my assumptions about church attendance and its impact on one’s spiritual life. I realized that spiritual growth requires more than just showing up on Sundays.
- Learning Together: Kath and I embarked on a journey of learning together. We started studying the Bible more deeply, discussing its teachings, and applying them to our daily lives.
- Embracing Vulnerability: Spiritual growth in relationships requires vulnerability. I had to open up about my misunderstandings and be willing to admit when I was wrong.
- Seeking Guidance: We sought guidance from more mature Christians, including pastors and mentors, who could help us navigate our spiritual journey together.
The Impact of Spiritual Growth on Our Relationship
As we pursued spiritual growth together, our relationship transformed in several ways:
- Deeper Connection: Our shared faith journey created a deeper emotional and spiritual connection.
- Improved Communication: Our communication improved as we learned to discuss spiritual matters, leading to a stronger relationship.
- Shared Values: Our growing understanding of faith helped us align our values and goals for our lives together.
- Mutual Support: We learned to support each other’s spiritual growth, recognizing that each person’s journey is unique.
- Conflict Resolution: Our spiritual growth provided better tools for resolving conflicts and forgiving each other.
Lessons Learned
Through this process of spiritual growth in our relationship, I learned several important lessons:
- Faith is a Journey: Spiritual growth is not a destination but a continuous journey of learning and transformation.
- Authenticity Matters: True spiritual growth requires authenticity and a willingness to confront misconceptions and shortcomings.
- Community is Crucial: Surrounding ourselves with a supportive faith community is essential for sustained spiritual growth.
- Grace is Essential: Understanding God’s grace helps us extend grace to our partners and ourselves as we grow.
- Growth Takes Time: Spiritual growth in relationships is a gradual process that requires patience, commitment, and perseverance.
The Ongoing Journey of Spiritual Growth
Looking back, I realize that marrying a “church girl” wasn’t the quick fix I initially thought it would be. Instead, it was the beginning of a profound journey of spiritual growth that continues to this day. Our relationship has become a crucible for spiritual transformation, challenging us to grow deeper in our faith and love for each other. As we continue on this path of spiritual growth in our relationship, we strive to embody the truth of Deuteronomy 8:3 – recognizing that our lives and relationships are sustained not just by the physical and emotional aspects of marriage but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. This journey of spiritual growth has enriched our relationship in ways I never could have imagined when I first met Kath, proving that actual spiritual growth in relationships goes far beyond superficial attractions or simple church attendance.