Marriage transformation stories often begin with a journey of ups and downs, twists and turns that test the strength and resilience of the bond between two individuals. My wife Kath and I had all those and more; our marriage faced more than our share of challenges over the years, some easy, some not so easy, and some would think almost impossible to overcome. However, it was through the power of proper counseling and finding unfound faith that we could navigate through the most brutal of marital storms and ultimately emerge stronger than ever before.
Our journey toward healing began when we sought Christian counseling from Jake and Jennifer, a couple who specialized in guiding struggling marriages back on track. For two years, we diligently attended sessions, Kath with Jennifer, me with Jake, and monthly meetings as a couple, working through our issues and learning to communicate effectively. The guidance and support received during this time laid the foundation for a more stable and understanding relationship between Kath and me.
Navigating the Journey of Marriage Transformation Through Faith and Counseling
While our joint counseling sessions were beneficial to our marriage, I realized that there were personal demons and past sins I carried that I’d never divulged to Jake in our one-on-one time or with Kath in our 27 years of marriage. Much of this came from trusting a very influential person you carry to the grave no matter what. Not blaming him, I’m a grown up, it just became too heavy to carry.
It was a darkness within me that I needed to confront and address before I could fully engage with my wife and work towards overcoming the hurdles that had plagued our relationship for over a quarter of a century. This personal journey towards healing took me even longer, requiring an additional year or so of intensive counseling with Jake.
During these sessions, Jake helped me delve deep into my innermost thoughts and emotions, guiding me toward self-discovery and introspection. It was through his help that I began to realize how the things in my youth affected my life; he helped me deal with all of them and also helped me to understand the power of forgiveness, especially from the physical abuse I received as a kid. Jake pointed me toward Jesus, who eventually became my life’s ultimate light source of light and redemption.
He also helped me understand the need to share with Kath what she didn’t know about in the marriage relationship, or should I say outside the marriage relationship before this time. This was an extremely hard task, as it was a lot. At this point, I felt the Lord had me on my knees, and I was clinging to what little bit of life was still in me. However, even though sharing all I’d done with Kath was and is considered my most courageous moment, knowing I’d lose her, Jake still encouraged me, saying, “If you don’t, you’ll lose yourself. I shared it all and looking back; this was the first time I saw Jesus through Kath.
I talk about all this much deeper in chapter 15 of our book.
Fostering Renewal in Marriage Transformation: A Tale of Transparency and Forgiveness
It wasn’t until I surrendered my total life to the Lord, a moment just before the 28-year mark in our marriage, that I felt a sense of liberation and renewal within myself. This surrender paved the way for a profound transformation in our relationship, allowing Kath and me to let go of the burdens of the past and embrace a future filled with hope, love, and understanding and a renewed spirit of grace and forgiveness we’d never experienced in our lives prior.
As we’ve crossed the 42-year mark in our marriage transformation, Kath and I continue to grow stronger daily, drawing strength from our shared faith and selfless commitment to each other. Our journey of redemption and renewal has been a testament to the power of counseling and faith in Jesus in transforming a struggling marriage into a thriving Christ-centered union built on trust and Love.
Looking back on the three and a half years of counseling we received from 2006-2009, I’m filled with gratitude for the guidance and support we received from our counselors Jake and Jennifer, and the power of faith. Their unwavering commitment to helping us heal and grow as individuals and as a couple has been instrumental in shaping our resilient, loving, and constantly growing relationship.
Sharing our stories with others has become a way for us to give back and inspire those facing similar challenges in their relationships. Through our journey of healing and redemption, we hope to offer encouragement to those seeking to overcome tiny and even giant obstacles and strengthen their abilities to overcome these, even looking past themselves to what might be at stake. Don’t Quit!
Ultimately, our marriage transformation story is a testament to the enduring power of love, faith, and the willingness to confront our innermost fears and insecurities to emerge stronger, more united, and more vibrant than ever before.
We share our entire story, from our messy brokenness to how we thrive today, with lots of how to do it and applications in our book: Sex on the first date, a story of a broken beginning to a radical marriage transformation.